Taboos

by This Flame I Carry

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04:38
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04:33
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03:21
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about

Taboos is Noah Cebuliak's first full-length album as This Flame I Carry. As a full-power exploration of the liminal realms, it bravely faces what is normally suppressed or left unseen beneath the surface of everyday experience.

During a winter retreat on a small west coast island, Cebuliak became intrigued by the essential question of cultural and personal taboos.

Following this thread through many twists and turns, Cebuliak eventually found himself in Montréal, where, navigating the chaos of moving between numerous unstable living situations, he recorded his revelations wherever possible - closets, friend’s spare bedrooms, laundry rooms - throughout 2015.

It became clear that these new recordings were a departure from the soft indie folk-rock of Saltwater - there was an edge to the sounds, a notable desperation that was difficult to avoid.

Although he played most of the instruments on the album, Cebuliak eventually reached out to collaborate with producer Luke Loseth (Sea Oleena, Holobody, O’Hara), along with other young talent from the Montréal music community, in order to give Taboos its essential polish.

Out of the opacity of its themes, the image of a flame emerged, a flame we each carry to shine light into the dark corners of living as humans in the 21st century, a tool to break down our taboos and behold their essential truth we often avoid.

credits

released May 12, 2017

Personnel:

Noah Cebuliak - Vocals, Drums, Guitars, Electric Bass, Keyboards
Mike Bjella - Saxophones & Clarinet
Patrick Cruvellier - Violin
Patrick Latreille - Acoustic Bass (track 2, 8)
Monica McKernan - Vocals (track 3)
Luke Loseth - Auxillary Percussion (track 2, 8)

Written, Produced, Engineered & Mixed by Noah Cebuliak
Mastered by Harris Newman at Grey Market Mastering, Montreal, QC
Guest Production: Luke Loseth, Pat Latreille
Horns and String Arrangements: Patrick Cruvellier, Pat Latreille, Luke Loseth, Mike Bjella & Noah Cebuliak
Drums Engineered by Ryan White (track 2, 4, 6)

Recorded between August 2012 and December 2015 at:

96 Fawn Hills Drive, Bragg Creek, AB
1747 Fulford-Ganges Road, Saltspring Island, BC
409 Rue de Bellechasse, Montreal, QC
5701 Avenue Hutchison, Montreal, QC
80 Rue St. Viateur, B#3, Montreal, QC
5687 Avenue du Parc, Apt #3, Montreal, QC
615 Avenue Champagneur, Apt #16, Montreal, QC
3625 Côte-des-Neiges Rd, Montreal, QC

Special thanks to the generosity and patience of the Cebuliak Family, André Boileau and Patricia Deciccio.

Extra extra special thanks to Liam O’Neill, Sammy & Robin Ferrari, Tristan Stark, Chris Flower, J.A. Curtis and Andrea Drury.

The creation of this work was made possible thanks to the financial support of the Conseil des arts et des lettres du Québec and Jeunes Volontaires Quebec.

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about

This Flame I Carry Vancouver, British Columbia

This Flame I Carry is Noah Cebuliak. He likes haunted things, remote places, lost highways and spidersilk romance.

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Track Name: Blackwaterfoot
walking out into the surf under a bull black moon
at the start of our ruse
tides pulled you far from land
and into my waiting hands

a hundred miles out, far from the sunny south
took your tobacco - the first night on the town
crossed county lines, that was the first time
our stars aligned and you changed my mind

show me how to receive, be a harbour for me
that’s what I need
i want for your body to know my body
finally

I’ll keep your powder dry, clandestine
don’t go looking for signs in other men’s eyes
get a clean kill in your back hills
and you know I will be a swift arrow

oh blackwaterfoot, do you see me?
believe me, blackwaterfoot
all my youth I have wasted
chasing blackwaterfoot

oh blackwaterfoot, do you see me?
believe me blackwaterfoot
all my youth I have wasted away
chasing blackwaterfoot

it was hard for me to open, until I was broken
like a wave
smouldering with lust, but too soon to trust
the way that you move

up in your hay loft with the tarantulas
thinking of africa in the ritual smoke
feel the muscle tense, dripping a sweet sweat
dropping my defense, now we’re alone

break from the reigns, leave me for dead again
such a damn shame that we play these games
stand not amazed, put on a good face
give me one last taste, then I’ll go go go

blackwaterfoot, do you see me?
believe me, blackwaterfoot
all my youth I have wasted
chasing blackwaterfoot

oh blackwaterfoot, do you see me?
believe me blackwaterfoot
all my youth I have wasted away
chasing blackwaterfoot

running with rainclouds in my shoes
distant thunder following your hurricane
rubbing the salt into the wound (womb)
hollow harvest of my muse

and she's always on my mind
haunting beauty, holy hebridean eyes
and her body is a cave
hiding the truth I cannot say
Track Name: Dustbowls
lover, when you came to me
(here is the truth, here is your hard proof)
with starfire burning through the trees
(aquarius moon, spin me in your loom)
hunted by the winter night
(pockets of rain, pockets for your change)
scorpio shining in the sky
(sinners and saints, waiting for late trains)

sent your letters through the storm
(horses within, saddle the tradewind)
language lost without a form
(keeper of keys, battle the high seas)
painted your name across the bow
(passion is found, passion is spellbound)
hurricane lamps flickered out
(heart is a flame, hot.)

dustbowls of our love broke
where the creek rose
we were skipping stones

lover, when you called a truce
(honey in hives, secrets in her eyes)
asked midnight what he could do
(ritualize, sharpen the dark knife)
did he cover up the truth
(cleaning a kill, fire the lime kiln)
leaving us room for a ruse?
(lingering guilt, bring to a standstill)

galleon sails full of lust
(seeker of light, seeking the lighthouse)
alaska turned me to rust
(queen of the hive, deep in the hideout)
beeswax heart on my sleeve
(give me a sign, throw me a lifeline)
kerosene tears down your cheek
(shying away, shy.)

dustbowls of our love broke
where the creek rose
we were skipping stones
Track Name: Codetalker
here's a story for 'round your fire
about a woman who got to me
thought that I'd have learnt my lesson - no
you remember that old cabin?
well nothing ever is what it seems
wasn't long before she passed out of my reach

and talked her codes, codetalker
and locked her doors, codetalker

I could heat her up for hours
she would teach me how to lead
as the snow fell soft outside the trees heaved
into the lake where ice was melting
that is how she'd melt in me
and then I'd lay beside her - silent and asleep

and talk the codes, codetalker
and unlock the doors, codetalker

codetalker, now you're dodging
all the love you can't receive
it's not enough to just be overwhelming me
it’s too much for me to handle
too much to be believed
cut away the cords, let me breathe

and talk your codes, codetalker
and lock your doors, codetalker

spoken word:

remembering your soul’s desire
like rain quenches the ground:
ripe with possibility.
available to the other,
wide open in bliss.
the burden of bliss.
yeah.
open to the mystery,
in this moment, and this moment,
and this one.
only truth remains
in the light of the sublime.
the sublime...
Track Name: Don't Hesitate
your death is imminent
so what you want, act on it
when you go, all you’ve got
is what you’ve done and what you have not

oh, don’t forget it
you are made from habit
oh just go get it, don’t hesitate
you won’t regret

see the signs of your compromise
left alone, they multiply
though you hide out, that feeling
will intensify now
this is medicine, don’t defend
you can give in now
and believe me, that feeling
will intensify

what will you gain
from your suffering?
wait for signs and look for clues
but nothing changes and no-one moves

oh, don’t forget it
you were made from habit
oh just go get it don’t hesitate
you won’t regret

see the signs of your compromise
left alone, they multiply
though you hide out, that feeling
will intensify now
this is medicine, don’t defend
you can give in now
and believe me, that feeling
will intensify

oh, that feeling will intensify (now)
Track Name: I Am A Stone
the feminine
is medicine
for ruined men

fallow wombs
weaving my cocoon
a winter tomb

leave me lusty
make me a mockery
obsolete

ohh oh, I am a stone
I’ve been so alone
maybe you could help me melt
although I went without touch
it’s enough now
I’m a stone for you
touch me, polish me up now I am a stone

hurry home
stoke my stove
warm my bones tonight

dance to a dark song
linger a little too long
locking eyes

point blank, close range
we howl at the hurricane
in our embrace

ohh oh, I am a stone
I’ve been so alone
maybe you could help me melt
although I went without touch
it’s enough now
I’m a stone for you

oh, the irish sea is burning
ferry me across
feed me from your black bowl
tighten my knots
through the depths of psyche
wandering lost
I take the shape of a jaguar
I have paid the cost

back when the cup overflowed
I did not question who I was
now that I know how it feels
I won’t wait to be healed

ohh oh, I am a stone
I’ve been so alone
although I went without touch
it’s enough now
I’m a stone for you
touch me, polish me up now, I am a stone
Track Name: Yukon Soul
taillights fading, santa fe dust
corroding what you promised us
some tobacco woman's burning up the fuel of my name
over bronze flood plains

in the pressure and steam of hollow dreams
your love came apart at the seams
over highways of sweat to raven’s nests
engines of change, darkening rain

but my yukon soul built a sauna on the creek
a place of heat
and when I finally fell down at your feet
I fell in defeat, fell in defeat

codetalker, when you’re talking, you’re the only one you’re dodging
smoke signals you send I will intercept
you have the language, so fluent
so start the fire without the flint

and see those radio receivers, repeating over trees
it’s so easy to lose their frequency
hauling out from your harbour on the dark cold sea
tasting the sweat from our last intrigue

but my yukon soul built a sauna on the creek
a place of heat
and when I finally fell down at your feet
I fell in defeat, fell in defeat

when I long, I long a long time
far along the railroads of rhyme
well the oracle never lies, it just wasn’t the time
kneeling naked at your altar, asking for a sign

hide behind your hymns, sing them soft to him
poison love you fought to win and imitate the scorpion
I’m worth the price you’d have to pay
to feel what you anticipate

well my yukon soul built a sauna on the creek
a place of heat
and when I finally fell down at your feet
I fell in defeat, fell in defeat

My yukon soul.
My yukon soul built a sauna on the creek.
My yukon soul.
My yukon soul.
Track Name: Overpower
swam, sputtered, while she swallowed me
swell shuddered, swept to the east
help hovered just out of reach
my lover above me

I crawled out of the sea
from you I was crawling out
and she hauled out of the deep
made me into a medicine pouch

tobacco, oh, you overpower me
although your music is muse
it’s a winter tomb
it’s a winter tomb
you're a winter tomb

crawled out of the sea, crawled out
crawled out of the sea
crawled out of the sea, crawled out
crawl out of the deep
and lie down with me, lie down with me now

tobacco, oh, you overpower me
although your music is muse
you're a winter tomb
you're a winter tomb
you're a winter tomb
Track Name: Hebridean Nights
remember when
making our love upon the pyramid sand
flickering in the prophet’s better hand
while he sold my name along the shore of hebrides

carried me into Aleutian seas
where we were made
never to be young again
(saint) kilda kept the secret safe, in her caves

as the sun set into my southern cross chest
slumbering like a knife without a sheath
I sunk into your body heat
hungering

suck the poison from the sting
collapse like little hornet’s wings
feel the venom numb your tongue
the price is paid, love’s fight is won

palo santo drifted on the wind
dignified, you brewed the medicine
while rain fell upon the tin
simmering

gathered fuel for the funeral pyre
the man I was, the man you desire
split upon your sacred shrine,
sanctified

fanning the flames across alluvial plains
then allayed, I turned retrograde
cause the cup in old Magellan’s hands
tempted me

suck the poison from the sting
collapse like little hornet’s wings
feel the venom numb your tongue
the price is paid, love’s fight is won
the price is paid, love’s fight is won
the price is paid, love’s fight is won

hold me through my hebridean nights
hold me through.